Don’t Give Up Your Rosebuds Blooming

Don’t Give Up…

Originally uploaded by elfpunk999

What do you do when life gets burning?
Tick tock, clock, the wheels are turning
Out of the blue
Stamp your feet, defiance is looming
Don’t give up, your rose bud’s blooming
Out of the blue

Out of the blue comes a face
where your faith is placed
Out of the blue
you don’t fit in
while your smile is running thin

What do you do when life gets rough?
Hitchhike home with all your stuff
Out of the blue
Nothing’s right and something’s wrong
but you keep on holding strong
Out of the blue

Out of the blue comes a face
with the utmost grace
Out of the blue
you are scared
and the monster’s teeth are bared

Out of the blue

-The Bella Cullen Project
“Out of the Blue”

I love this song. Its about Edward’s struggle to not kill Bella that first day in Biology class. I love how its such a sweet song but it still has all that agony and hatred throughout.

I thought this image went well with it. The bright rose blooming with the dark background. I was gonna make it even dark but, I wanted to have some naturalness to it. My mom and I went to the botanical gardens so that I could take some bug photos, not many bugs there this time of year though. Really sucked.

My mom is on me now, too, about getting paid for my photos. Can’t I just have a hobby without making money from it. She’s the reason I don’t make websites anymore, I hate her nagging at me to get money for it. Maybe I just wanna do it for fun. Not allowed to do that I guess. So now I’m on a mission to get some money for my damned photography. So help me though, if she makes another hobby of mine no more fun I’m going to kill her.

Photo taken at Mounts Botanical Garden, West Palm Beach, FL

Caught in a Web….

Orb Weaver Spider

Originally uploaded by elfpunk999

Have you ever been so… caught up in life that you just can’t seem to find up from down, left from right, front from back? Like you’re dangling in a spiders web, wrapped up to the gills in sticky shit that you can’t come clean from just waiting… waiting for the inevitable to happen. Just waiting for that spider to crawl back and bite your head off, sending its venom deep within your body, numbing you so completely that it stings.

I think I’m there. I can’t be sure of course because my immobility has made my body fall asleep and my mind is wandering around without restraint. Its here and then there and then back and I just can’t… can’t focus on anything. Can’t… make my brain STOP! I thought I knew the cause of my grief, my despair… but I was wrong. It’s not his fault… its not anyone’s fault. Not even mine, I don’t think, I just… I just want the spider to numb me. I just… I just want it to all be over. I want to know where my life is going. I want to know that I’ll be happy, safe and secure, loved beyond means, and… and that this feeling of… of abandonment isn’t…. isn’t all that’s left of someone that was so… AMAZING! I want to be GOD AGAIN! I want to be able to smile and laugh without a drink in me. I want… I want to be me.

Projekt Revolution 8/1/08

Projekt Revolution 8/1/08

Originally uploaded by elfpunk999

This concert was AMAZING! I love Linkin Park with every ounce of my being. I don’t think there is any better band in the WORLD. My awesome mother got me seat tickets too. I was pretty close. Not like front row close but I could see them on stage without straining myself. It was awesome. Of course I loved every bit of it. There’s nothing better than going to a concert for a band that makes you go crazy.

Also, right after I got home from the show, my BEST FRIEND EVER was waiting for me with the new Stephenie Meyer’s book Breaking Dawn. I stayed up all night reading it. It was also AMAZING! I’m so sad that the saga is over. But she’s writing Edwards POV and I’m freaking out about that. Edward is my favorite fictional character of all time. He ranks up pretty damn close with Peter Pan if not higher (Peter Pan is definetly higher, he’s tattooed on my back).

But enough about that. I’m at work so I should probably get to it. Later.

One Year Anniversary

Susie Q

Originally uploaded by elfpunk999

This is my puppy. She doesn’t really like to get her picture taken but she’s getting use to it. This is my first picture of her with my black set up on the new studio set up. I think her eyes came out the best.

Yesterday was my 1 year anniversary with my boy friend. Really kinda sucked. I was home from work taking care of my mom, she’s got a wicked cold; she can’t even talk right now. And he’s out in freaking Kansas. So… whatever. He promises to make up for it when he gets home. I know he will. I’m not really worried about it. Just sucks to be so far apart on such a special day.

Eleven days till Breaking Dawn comes out!
I’m beyond excited. I can’t wait to read it. I think I’m gonna take that day off work and just sit home and read non-stop cover to cover. Then I’ll be done with the series and have nothing to look forward to but the movie and the next book, Midnight Sun; which is basically just Twilight from Edward’s point of view. But it should be pretty awesome. Edward is my favorite character in the entire series. I can’t even tell you why, probably because he reminds me of my boy friend. Newho, nothing else to report.

Stupid Masochistic Lion…

Lion

Originally uploaded by elfpunk999

I love this shot… even thought its through a fence it still looks awesome.

Anywho… as you can tell from the title I’ve read the best book ever; TWILIGHT. Read is an understatement… I’ve memorized the book almost. I bought Twilight because I wanted to read it before the movie comes out in December. So it usually takes me forever to read a book but I just couldn’t put the damn thing down. I stayed up all night reading it. I literally read from the second I got it till about 6 am and then got up the next day for work at 8 am. I LOVE THE BOOK. So I went out and bought the other two thinking that I could read them in the time between the next one coming out (Breaking Dawn) but no… I’ve read all THREE books now THREE times and I still have EIGHTEEN days till the damned book comes out! Its ridiculous.

I haven’t read a book, or series of books, like this since Peter Pan. I just love the dynamic between Bella and Edward. I have to confess tho… that I skipped some things in New Moon… I can’t stand Jacob Black. When I read his words I hear my little brother and I just skip ahead because he’s not important. LOL. I know that he’s a huge character but… I just can’t stand when people talk like they know everything. Edward DOES know everything and he doesn’t talk like he knows everything. If you can’t tell I’m on Team Edward

Hiya Rat

Hiya Rat

Originally uploaded by elfpunk999

I’m getting into pet/animal photography. Its something that I’ve wanted to do for quite some time. I think that this rat is my favorite so far. I was at the pet store and he popped out and stood perfectly still so I could get the best shot What a ham. I also set up a mini portable studio in my office. I took some snaps of my puppy but she just wasn’t having it so I have to get some more animals in here. A co-worker has a bunch of animals she’s gonna let me photograph for my portfolio. I’m extremely excited about it. I can’t wait till I actually start making some money doing it. Extra cash is never a bad thing in my mind. The sooner I save up money the sooner I can get on with life.

HE’S COMING HOME!

AHHH! I just got a call from my boy friend and he got his orders today! WHOA! Its alittle farther away than I’d hoped, Kansas but that’s fine. I can make it. BUT HE’S COMING HOME! God I can’t contain myself. I’m laughing and smiling and crying all at the same time. Its ridiculous! OMG! I just can’t help myself. I’ve never been so happy ever! In my entire life I’ve never been so xcited about something. OMG! I’m… I’m on air right now. I get to hold him and kiss him and tell him how much I love him to his face. It’s amazing! I just can’t help but be happy. OMG! Someone pinch me. I was so worried that I’d have a shitty day, stuck here at the office all alone doing these damned books and then… BAM! Good news! WOOOOOOOOW! I don’t even know what to write. I’m so happy. My fingers keep hitting the wrong keys. I’ve had to hit backspace like 10,000 times in the tiny little blog! OMG! I could scream right now WHOOOOOOOA!

DAY 2

DAY 2

Originally uploaded by elfpunk999

This is the second picture in the set but my favorite so far. I love the idea of Jack eating cold pizza. I had to make up 3 images because I kinda lost track of dates and forgot it was the 1st and yesterday I got caught up playing wii with my family. (I kicked arse at tennis) But I plan to take one a day from now on… or I’ll fake it. Who’s to know but me? I think this project will be loads of fun. And I hope it will help to curve my sour attitude that I’ve had lately. Jack does that to me.

Anywho, nothing else new. The Cuban is here playing the wii and I promised him a game of tennis so I gots to get going. Write more maybe tomorrow.

Butterflies at Butterfly World

Butterflies at Butterfly World

Originally uploaded by elfpunk999

I kind of feel like this butterfly. I’m dark and lonely against a bright crowded world. Maybe that’s why this is my favorite picture I took over the weekend.

The ‘rents and I went to Butterfly World in Coral Springs, FL. It was actually a lot of fun. Very hot though. Too hot for comfort but I managed. I was O.K during the trip but when I got home I got really depressed and cranky. I took it out on my boy friend a little and I feel horrible about it. Nothing I can do about it now. I’ve just been stuck in a funk lately. Hopefully it’ll go away soon. I hate being depressed.

Lego Indiana Jones comes out tomorrow. I think I’ll celebrate by playing Lego Starwars tonight before I pass out. Anywho, I gota get back to work. Maybe I’ll write more if I get bored.

Soldiers Hands

Soldiers Hands

Originally uploaded by elfpunk999

I had to take my soldier back to Georgia this weekend. It was a great weekend though. I miss him so much already that its ridiculous. But he’s coming home again in a few weeks so I’m excited. Really nervous about his orders though, we still don’t know where he’s going. I’m hoping he doesn’t go overseas anywhere. I want him here in the states so I can see him as much as possible. But being a good army g/f means I have to put aside what I want and look at the bigger picture… so I’m trying.

I took this picture while we were on our way to Georgia. He’d fallen asleep on my chest in the backseat and I was amazed at how much I love his hands. Its really weird actually, they are definetly a soldiers hands. I can’t remember the last time I looked at any part of a guy that I dated and they looked like a man’s anything but his hands make me think of how safe I feel and how much of a man being in the army is making him. Does that sound weird? Of course their man hands he’s a man but… I always looked at x boyfriends and say “boy” I look at him and see “man” which in my head means that I’m growing up and looking to the future, if that makes sense. And for the first time in my life I’m not scared to death of what will happen tomorrow, I’m not hating myself for being older. Its a great feeling to want to be with someone and have them want you back just as much. Makes me smile to think how far I’ve come in this relationship. From liking a kid with a mohawk to falling madly in love with a soldier